Living in a hall with four other flatmates. Going to the pub almost every night. Late night conversations in the flat. Figuring out what to eat. I've started to get a taste of an aspect of the college freshman experience that I never had at UNLV. UNLV is a commuter campus, so only about 10-20% of the students actually live the dorms. Most students are from Las Vegas, so they either live off campus or with their parents. I stayed with my parents. My parents were strict my freshman year about me going out and I wasn't quite as assertive back then, so I didn't have a busy social life. I've never had it at the rate and intensity it's happening now. I've met so many freshers, returning students, flatmates, flatmates of friends, exchange students that it's overwhelming. We'd exchange our 11 digit long phone numbers on our new UK phones. But this led me to ask myself: Who should I hang out with some more later? What if the first few weeks of the semester are a critical period after which social groups solidify, at the same time calcifying the fates of unfortunate social outcasts? What happens after classes start and now you have to balance that time with socializing?
My answer to this bout of social anxiety: From my time at UNLV I learned that the first people you meet aren't necessarily the closest friends you'd get. I met the majority of my best friends during my junior and senior year. It was the same for high school. So I'm going to be patient and just see how relationships naturally grow from here. The second point is to not feel overly committed to spending time with people where the relationship isn't mutually satisfying. Sometimes I am too polite with strangers and acquaintances. I felt that I wasted a lot of time hanging around people that didn't care too much for during my first two years of college.
That afternoon, I went to St Andrews' LGBT Society meet and greet today. They had a lot of tea, coffee, and biscuits on the table. I was nervous, and I drink when I have nothing to say or am thinking of something to say, so I kept refilling the tea cup with coffee and drank four cups within a half hour. It wasn't a good idea because the room was hot. I then met a third-year from Southwest England who was probably just as socially awkward as I am. We were both soft-spoken and the music blasting made it hard to hear everyone else in the circles we were talking to. So we complained about this. Eventually, our complaints changed to meta-discussions about the evils of small talk and the art of listening in a loud room. So our mutual social awkwardness served as the grease for easy, engaging conversation. I was pleasantly surprised to find that his course was in philosophy too, and that we were both in the same social philosophy class. I have a feeling that he and I will become best friends this semester. Anyway, the LGBT society hosts the occasional club trip to Glasgow, Edinburgh, or Aberdeen so it will be interesting seeing what the gay nightlife is like in Scotland, though I'd probably enjoy their queer reading group more. It's not called Reading Rainbow like the one I started back at UNLV though.
That night, I tried out Aikido today at the gym. Tomorrow I will check out the bonfire that the Breakway Society (a hillwalking club) is hosting. I'm very excited since hiking is a favorite pasttime of mine. There are WAY too many societies at St Andrews. There's also a Harry Potter and Gin Society, Doctor Who Society, Neuroscience Society, and Philosophy Society. For a complete list, see http://societies.yourunion.net/action/welcome/ . I think in the end I'm going to trim it down to 2-3 societies. It's exciting to see how active the students here are though.
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